omg, yesterday never sleep well again T_T.something negative has happen to lmaotan. yesterday,i was thinking in my bed what kaixin said to me. she appreciates what i do and she is touched.but. the feeling just won't come, i feel that all i have done has been wasted.i am also not trying to gain sympathy or what. just feel very tired? what if true love were to dry up, continue to wait seems a good thing to do,but i really have no chance at all.the distance between we 2 is just so big. i hate it when she says she would want to become friends with me. i really wan to be her boyfriend. that makes me feel rather hurt.alot of people have been quoting phrases from drama ."love cannot be forced". i noe the reason for it, but loving her is beyond my control.trying to forget her but it seems impossible.the more i act the more i feel like crying.love is like a piece of mirror, if u break it, it is hard to fix it back again, even if u manage to do so. it will never be same again.if u and me were to become friends, do u really think we would able to do it? will the mirror become an ordinary piece of glass?when we look at each other, we would shyly turn away as i am afraid my vision would irritate u. u would shyly look away as u are afraid of giving me the wrong idea.if god were to brainwash me and start my life over again, do u think i will fall for her again?if that happens i won't regret it. even if it hurts me deeply again.yes, i am persistent. until it becomes irritating.everytime i receive an sms, first thing i would wonder if its from her. if its from her. i am worried about the content. what if one day she was to sent me a message saying"hey ur dam irritating". all hell break loose. i noe she won't but i am scared really, one day i make her mad or what. maybe my friends are right. letting go = love.i will do my best to forget her. and not fall into relationship ever ever again. emotions of a human is just so tiring.if i were to fall out from this one, i would never want to go in another one for a long time. bye kai xin, i am happy u could actually be my friend.thank you.if that makes u feel any better

lmaotan @ 3:36 PM