If you are lmaotan everything is possible!

MOST SHOCKING DAY OF MY LIFE.
highlighted, enlarged , bolded , italiced, what more do you expect?its really hard to express out my feelings right now,i am feeling so epiphany...i am beginning to feel emo and pathetic again..

from February onwards, the way she came into my heart and the place of my love, i knew right then and there was something different about this girl. the way she moved, her hair , her face , her lines.her voice. divinity In motion. as she stalked our classroom, i could feel the aura of her presence. feeling both passion and lust. the girl was not persuasive, but i fell for her. the girl i can and cannot trust. the girl was bad, the girl was dangerous...

i went to her, with the eyes of desire.i felt trapped into her. web of sin, a whisper of love. i was at the point of no return. deep into the darkness of passion's insanity. i felt taken by lust's strange inhumanity.i fell into the bottomless pit of love, deeper and deeper i go.the stronger you are, the harder you fall...

she told me to stop wasting my time on her, but what esle more important could things be except for her.she said i am a good guy, maybe i am just not good enough to be her prince charming.she told me friends is still the best solution.. she made it so clear. its just impossible between the both of us.even after secondary school.. i felt so hurt, so confused, i don't know what to do, continue? give up?giving up seems a better choice. she made it so clear, if i don't give up, my love for her might become irritation..if i give up, my life would be so meaningless. i could not forget her.i just can't.how can i forget such an important person in my life? how do i face her nowadays. its easy to say, but hard to do.. maybe i am just finding excuses not to give her up, but its really hard for me to completely not love her..

i feel so confused... it breaks my heart to see that sms.i took a photo of her and stared at it for some time, that photo made me lose my tears.i was thinking why am i in such a situation.for moments i feel dizzy and sweating all over..so the next day, i sit on the chair with my monitor screen switched off, my father in the kitchen have been calling me for consecutive 3 times in a row and i din hear even one of them, until he went into a room and called.. he wonder if he suspected i was high on drugs. but i don't really feel like talking at that time, so i went to sleep for another 2 hours.why am i so useless..maybe that why she don't like me, i have nothing in order for her to like me. maybe you would say i am trying to let you guys reading this post pity me, but i really feel disappointed. after i have done so much to win her heart. i waited for her every morning at lrt and walk with her to school. i gave her flowers, i try to help her in anyway i can, i cheer her up by cracking a joke to her when she feels sad, i sent a good night sms to her every night, i protect her from other males who have bad intentions on her and ect. but all of these seemed to have come to an end with no use at all,but its ok, i do it at my own accord and i am not regretting it. at most i let her felt that i love her, thats all. its really nice being with her, i feel so at home and comfortable, walking with her to school enlightens my life, although people say waiting is actually a thing that requires patience, i don't mind waiting for her 20 mins or more, while in the process i am too excited to as in when she would appear in my sight.the question is, should i continue to love her, or not? who's gonna answer? maybe just a test in my life. lets see how i can overcome it.

i don't feel like typing the rest out, i am tired, maybe i will update somehow tomorrow. but no worries, i would act as if nothing has happened, and those who have seen this post please don't go tell kaixin about it, i don't want her to feel guilty.i mean it, please..bye.

lmaotan @ 8:18 AM